Be you boy of gay, straight, bisexual, or trans nature of Generation Y variety, we all have 1 thing in common: we love video games. At some point in life, the calling for Mario, Sonic, Crash Bandicoot, Donkey Kong, whatever you want, when we are called, we must play.
More after the cut. Because it's a long one. And I am passionate about video games. I got my Masters in it.
And who doesn't love video games? I often joke about how weird it is when someone defies a universally loved thing, but it is no joke. If you don't like video games, I can probably guarantee I won't be liking you. There are often exceptions (I have a friend who can't stand them, your guess is as good as mine), but seriously? How can you hate? There are ALWAYS good memories attached to video games. I remember every weekend from grade 4 onwards was just beating Super Mario or playing Super Street Fighter. All of this accompanied by pizza, chips, soda, and god knows what else I ate back then. Seriously chubs. Of course eventually one must graduate to Mortal Kombat (My bitch was Mileena. She ATE people. Beat that, Sub-Zero). Fuck him UP.
Well actually, when I think about it, video games definitely didn't get the full on love from girls when I was a kid. For me, it mostly cause I liked the RPGs or fighting games which bored off my gal pals, but we always went back to the cute games. Because ripping out people's spines gets repetitive while hopping on mushrooms and punching brick to get coins is forever. Anyone remember Donkey Kong Country for SNES? That game was awesome. I'd always die way before the end of it, but isn't that the best part of video games? You get SO into it and lose. But that next time you very well might beat King R. Cool. I'd always remember passing out at like, 6am because I was on such an adrenaline rush. Because once you start Donkey Kong Country, you're in it until you beat it or die.
I of course, had no Nintendo. MY parents thought to spite me and bought a fucking Sega Genesis. Because they felt real bad, they threw in a Sega CD with Echo The Dolphin. Man that game was scary as shit. Like, why won't sharks leave Echo alone? He's just trying to find his FAMILY (This of course would go on to influence many a teen awkward situation). Basically what I am trying to say is that I spent my youth kicking it with Sonic more than Mario. You're probably wondering what exactly is gay about this post. Anyone remember the music? How could that not turn anyone gay? Of course, I don't think that's what video games had in mind, but they need to take responsibility for their actions. Video game music turns 10 out of every 100 boys gay. Fact.
I listened to this shit for 10 years before I left for college. CONSTANTLY. My mom would always yell at me in the basement to turn it down. For a bevy of reasons. Usually it was they could hear it form their bedroom 2 flights up, but sometimes it was that they couldn't hear whatever it was they were watching on tv (Bette Midler 80's weirdo movies or Disney Princess classics). I was a bad boy.
Off topic: Here is a video of some hipster boys hopping around to the Mortal Kombat theme song TECHNOED ALL OUT. This was the second hit after searching "Mortal Kombat" on YouTube. This is the best the internet has to offer and for that, I am SO grateful.
Later music would go on to influence modern day electro. Don't even try to front, Bubble Bobble will always be my fave electronic song. It has EVERYTHING. Video games are so cool, Yelle is doing shit for Super Monkey Ball:
Now Super Monkey Ball is the game of the future. It's almost my new Mario. You're a monkey. In a ball. Finding bananas or your kidnapped friends or something. But seriously, I wish we could go back. To the classics. What the hell is Halo? Call Of Duty? I don't want to watch myself in video game world bombing shit and cutting throats. I want to jump on shit and find chaos emeralds and rescue princesses. When the hell did games get so boring?
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