Songs for fucking

Britney Spears is horny. Super horny. Her new single "3" has been released to radio and I will put it this way: She wants to get her fuck on with another couple. She name drops Peter, Paul & Mary, does that weird baby coo "oooh!" thing that's been prevalent on her last 2 albums, and states that living in sin is the new thing to do. Where as "Blackout" was an awesome album with robotic vocals and trashy production, "3" brings the sounds of what "Blackout" should've been, combines it with some Calvin Harris synths (I'm expecting a remix, Calvin), and some of the best hooks I've hear don a song this year.

Ms. Spears, I tip my hat to you. This is the single I was waiting for.

Some songs to hump to:

Britney Spears - 3"

Amerie - Tale Control (ft. Se7en)

Basement Jaxx ft. Yo! Majesty - Twerk

Simian Mobile Disco f. Telepathe

The more I hear of Simian Mobile Disco's new album 'Temporary Pleasure', the more excited I am to grab the whole thing! There have been a few great tracks already leaked from the record like Cruel Intentions (f. Beth Ditto) and the remixed a million times over Audacity of Huge - but there's a new one to add to that list.

The latest track to leak is called Pinball and features one of my fave bands over the last year or so, Telepathe. It's hard to say something is "a departure" for SMD because their songs are kind of all over the place, but Pinball sounds more like a cleaned up Telepathe song than what I'd expect from Simian Mobile Disco. Either way, it's a keeper.

You can pre-order the 'Temporary Pleasure' LP or buy the CD at Insound and you can catch them on tour in Chicago at the Metro on November 4th. They will also be doing a DJ set at Smartbar for the Chicago Workgroup DJs' All Systems Go afterparty!

Here's a preview of "Pinball" and the Luke Vibert remix of "It's the Beat" from their last record Attack Decay Sustain Release.

Simian Mobile Disco featuring Telepathe - Pinball (from Temporary Pleasure)

Simian Mobile Disco - It's the Beat (Luke Vibert Mix)

Hunx in Chicago

Hey Chicago friends...

Hunx and His Punx are playing two shows tonight. The first is at the Empty Bottle with Jay Reatard, the second is at Berlin with Chicago's Smith and Westerns and is FREE. Check it out!

I just gotta say...

Does anyone even like Black Lips?

How about Wavves?

I find both these bands just....awful, just really terrible. But when shit like THIS breaks out, I gotta commentate...

WHAT PROBLEMS DO 20-SOMETHING HIPSTER STRAIGHT WHITEBOYS EVER HAVE? LIKE SERIOUSLY, WTF DO YOU HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT? YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE STRUGGLE FOR IDENTITY FOR QUEER KIDS IS LIKE. YOU ARE A STUPID SHITHEAD. YOU BOTH SOUND LIKE DUMB FUCKS. IF I EVER MEET EITHER OF YOU, I WILL DO WORSE TO YOU THAN WHAT PAULA POUNDSTONE DID TO STAND UP COMEDY.

I'm declaring war on the underground music scene. And this isn't some "Oh, Micah is mad about Animal Collective cause he doesn't get it" tantrum, this is a "Seriously, bands these days suck and don't respect good tunes" shit fit.

I say let these two beat the poo out of each other please. It'll require a lot less energy. And maybe after, they'll realize the whole fight started because they're in love and couldn't admit it to themselves or each other. I'm so optimistic.

Songs about love:

Dolly Parton - I Will Always Love You

The Pipettes - The Burning Ambition Of Early Diuretics

Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich - Hold Tight

Grace Jones sampled

Berlin's Magnum 38 has taken a sample from the classic Grace Jones track "Slave to the Rhythm" and worked it into a noisy electro jam that will for sure find it's way onto tons of playlists this fall. As the song is an original that just features the vocal sample, it doesn't really resemble the Grace Jones track at all, but it's a nice (although limited) use of her vocals. The song is part of Magnum 38's recently released EP (on Tigerbass Records) "A Tribute to Grace Jones" that features a few more Jones tracks that have been given the same original-remix hybrid treatment.

Here's the Magnum 38's "Slave" and the 1985 video for "Slave to the Rhythm"!

Magnum 38 - Slave

The Gay 90's: Manic Panic

We all did it. Every faggot who grew up in the 90's had the same uphill struggle to overcome. That, my dear friends, was the freedom to dye your hair ugly colors with the semi-permission of your parents (Or in my case, it was doing it anyways and my Dad being more angry that I stained the tub. WTF, Dad?). I definately was guilty of using that shit. Vampire Red was my best friend. And then everyone who put that shit on their head realized "Oh wait, this shit sucks. It stays in for a week before I gotta reapply". WHAT WAS A FAGGOT TO DO TO KEEP HIS LUSTROUS LOCKS FIRE ENGINE RED?

That's right, we moved onto:


SPECIAL EFFECTS USA IS THE SHIT. It stayed in forever, was easy to bleach off porcelain, and it made my parents even angrier cause that shit does not fade. And if you ever went to the Boston Gay Prom or whatever the cock that shit is/was (Seriously, don't ever go), you couldn't see anyone who didn't have some sort of gay ass streak of blue or a whole head of pink. Whatever. The point is, gays love to dye their hair wacky colors. And the 90's was no different.

My mom's ex-boyfriend (Who is a total douchebag. Seriously, I hate older people who try too hard to act young) used to call me Metallica until one time I asked him if he even knew who Metallica was. Could he name the members? Could he name an album OTHER than "Kill 'Em All" or "Ride The Lightning"? NO, he could NOT. And that was a victory for every faggot with blue hair in 2002. So fuck you.

DatA - Rapture (ft. Sebastien Grainger)

Dan Black - U + Me

Shalamar - Take That To The Bank

And for everyone's amusement:


Blah blah blah, photo by Kris, blah blah blah. Like, 1 of maybe 15 photos taken of me from 1998-2003.

Fuck them bitches

Uh, when did Kelis become totally awesome? How about when she teamed up with Crookers (famed duo of that Kid Cudi remix). Kelis has finally released the pop single that people cannot deny. No longer will she be ignored, neglected, and talked down upon, for this single makes up for YEARS of failure. Other producers on her 5th album rumored: Switch, Diplo, and I heard a rumor Boyz Noize was on it, but you never know. Get it, bitch.

Crookers & Kelis - No Security

Unfortunately it's a radio rip with some dumb girl doing that annoying DJ shout out thing that's so prevalent on mixtapes. Seriously, can we stop doing that? It ruined a perfectly good Ghostface Killah track I can no longer listen to.

Ladyboyz

There is nothing I love more in life than normal people who have something a little off about them. My manager Patrick is a cool guy but he has a real wacky sense of humor and can keep up with my weirdo obscure music tastes. My other friend Pauline loves writing songs on guitar but doesn't know how to play the guitar (she's in a band with me anyways). So it comes to my great pleasure while YouTubing throughout the day that I found an all Thai Ladyboy dance troupe covering my favorite girl group to fag out over: So Nyuh Shi Dae aka SNSD aka Girls' Generation. AKA they're all the same person and I believe everyone has at least a first name (If not, they're last name is all "Kim" and they are now part of my family). Anyways, the songs are pure pop. Just in a different language. There is definately some hip-hop/electronic influences coming through. And their songs have set off a trend of phags getting their choreographed dance on with other phags. Was that SNSD's intention? For gay dance groups to take over the world? I like it so far. Can't wait for the next single.

Shake your butt to the originals cause you won't have a clue what they're saying and it doesn't even matter:

SNSD - Sowoneul Malhaebwa (Genie)

SNSD - Gee


Also, to the girl named "Sunny": I am so gunning for your position girl, get it.

Just horsing around

More videos HERE and HERE and all over the internets.

The Gay 90's: Anime is fucking gay

In all my years of obsessively becoming a real Asian cute boy, there has always been something that I can absolutely just not get into. That would be anime. Or as I lovingly call it: anigay. You know, there is fruity and then there is frui-tay, and anime just always seemed to be one of those freaky thing I vehemently opposed. It doesn't have funny references to pop culture that I can understand (that Benny Hill reference in Family Guy remains #1) and half the time there are no subtitles, so it just makes having to learn the language THAT MUCH MORE DIFFICULT. Why would I want to learn Japanese or Korean to watch an animated tv show about weirdo looking boys falling in love and denying it to themselves? OH WAIT CAUSE THAT'S MY LIFE.

It's strange. Anime has suddenly taken over my life. But I only like the really wacky ones where it's so not relatable to anything I ever experienced and that's how I keep my distance. If I can't relate, then I'm really not a super dork watching shit on my computer by myself at 2AM on a Saturday. But really, I have discovered I am dorky. And I like dorky things. And anime has rapidly become one of them.

Do you guys remember your token friend in high school who just LOVED anime? They watched it, in art class they drew it, in history class they were reading their manga instead of learning about the Industrial Revolution...that kid. We all loved to hate him but really, there was nothing to hate. 99% of the time, that kid was pretty awesome if you took away all the Asian influence. OH ALSO, how come all the anime fanatics I knew were WHITE BOYS? WTF is up with that? Why only white boys and super nerds? I'll tell you why: Because anime is the work of witch craft. And 75% of those nerds are now gay nerds attending Bennington College and running around free like an elven slut. Anime had a bigger following than The Grateful Dead in the 90's. It was everywhere. I remember going to Harvard Sq. when I was younger and there were like, 5 anime specialty shops just in that one like, parking garage turned shopping mall. And it was always filled.

AND NOW THERE ARE BOY LOVE ANIME! There is this whole like, sub-culture of gay anime love stories mostly written by teenage girls for other teenage girls...CUTE (Although kind of sad. That seems like the ultimate cock block). Apparently, the most famous one is called "Junjou Romantica" which I have begun to watch out of curiosity. That curiosity has now turned into a dangerous obsession. Is that what anime does to gay boys? It makes them depressed and lonely and asking "HEY WHERE IS MY TALL MASCULINE AZN WHO WILL PAY FOR ALL MY SHIT!?".

WTF, Japan. Seriously. You fucked up EVERYTHING.

Fag out to these:

Pigstar- Shodo

Madonna - Give It To Me

Tiesto - Kaleidoscope (ft. Jonsi of Sigur Ros)

Jojo - You Take Me (Around The World)

Born from ashes

It seems like every band that has pop instincts differing from American trend has more of a chance starting over in the UK these days. Dragonette is one of those bands who took that road with little success but a whole lot of critical acclaim. Mixing elements of electro, pop, funk, and pop/rock, Dragonette SHOULD'VE been a hit, but alas that was not to be. Instead of releasing their record to British masses, they were dropped from their label and I hadn't heard from them until now.

Gearing up to release their second LP "Fixin To Thrill", Dragonette seems to be one of those bands who just keep getting better. Their pop sensibilities have increased, they released a monster single with Martin Solveig, signed to a new label I Surrender, and played various Pride festivals around the world. If anyone deserves success, it's this electropop foursome!

Recently, they've leaked a few songs themselves to keep us fans on edge, and I must say the songs are very good. I hope their second record does amazing!

Dragonette - Stupid Grin
(you gotta go through the Popjustice messageboard and enter all that info hullabaloo but it's worth it)

Dragonette - Fixin To Thrill"

Dragonette - The Boys (Calvin Harris cover of "The Girls")

If you wanna check out info on their new label, you can access the I Surrender homepage HERE.

Right Hand Hi (Kingdom Remix)

After waiting and being teased by Fools Gold Records for like ever, the Kingdom remix of Kid Sister's summer jam "Right Hand Hi" has finally been released on iTunes! I bought the Kingdom remix (but didn't spring for the Kill the Noise version) and, as usual, it's pure fire!

I'm really excited that Kingdom is getting some (much deserved) attention. With Fool's Gold releasing his great track "Mind Reader" (f. Shyvonne), being featured in The Fader, and playing parties all over the country, he's on his way to a BIG 2010.

Here's a 30 second preview of the Right Hand Hi remix to get you excited, but DEFINITELY jump over to iTunes and BUY it!

PREVIEW:
Kid Sister - Right Hand Hi (Kingdom Remix)

I'm finally impressed by a DJ Tiesto track

So a couple weeks ago, we posted the Tiesto track off his forthcoming album "Kaleidoscope". Tegan and Sara graced the track with their vocals (OK seriously, how are they still around because I will never really like them but when they are featured I have no problem). Finally, we have a preview of the title track featuring Jonsi of Sigur Ros aka our Icelandic gay friend who JUST put out an album with his BF Alex. Love it. It's a really atmospheric track and sounds way more like Sigur Ros gone electro than a Tiesto track. That's the first sign that I will like it. Second off, it's a slinky, wistful track that's the perfect 7 minute + soundtrack to the end of summer. Actually, I think summer ended but it does not feel like it. Especially in Chicago, y'all.

Go listen to the track @ Pitchfork.

Eventually, it crescendoes into the last 2 minutes of the perfect end of summer drive. Thanks Tiesto for finally making a song I can put my heart into.

Dr. Shane Medicine Lesbian

I really hope that the makers of this show realize that this character will have to dyke out at some point.

LOOK AT HER FACE.

File Under: Gay Face

Carrie Brownstein: The Comedienne

At one point in my life I think I would have traveled to the ends of the Earth to see Sleater Kinney. I never made it quite that far, but I did see them like 5 or 6 times across the period of many years. My favorite part of that band was most definitely Carrie Brownstein. I loved the way she played guitar and her not so great/great singing voice...and she was the cutest one. Sleater Kinney, of course, broke up a few years back and Carrie has been pretty quiet on the music scene since (although she does do a music blog called Monitor Mix on NPR).

I thought maybe she'd start another band or do a solo project or become a DJ or something (that IS what everyone does now, right?) but no, she started a comedy duo with SNL's Fred Armisen called ThunderAnt. Who knew Car-bear was a comedienne? They've been making videos since 2007, but I've been out of the loop I guess.

Check out a clip I found on PaperMag.com where Carrie and Fred kind of stalk Glenn Danzig (as part of Molly Schiot's Check You Out series) and some other ThunderAnt sketches after the cut.

Totally weird, but pretty funny.

Keep it classy Chicago

As always, Chicago sports fans keep it super classy with these great t-shirts! For sale right outside of your local douchebag convention Cubs game.

They could have at least hired a professional designer.

The Twelves at Smartbar

Hey! If you're in Chicago check out The Twelves at Smartbar tonight. This is part of the Chicago Workgroup DJs 'All Systems Go!' party that happens every month. It's an indie-electro-space-italo-new-disco good time!

La Roux - In For The Kill (Twelves Remix)

Gayer than remixes

FOUND IT

Turning water into wine

Is there anything gayer than the remix? Remixes can turn an awful song into a gem or an already club banger into a rave joint. Case in point: The Todd Terry remix of EVerything But The Girl's "Missing". That song was awful and with a crappy club remix, it scored #1 on almost every chart on this musical planet. WTF? This means a few things...

1. Gays will buy anything with a 4/4 house beat.

2. Gays LOVE to dance (I do it in my home!).

3. Remixers know what we want.

Another case in point: Remixes can turn an ordinary song nobody ever will hear super popular. Who remembers "Cold Rock A Party" by MC Lyte? NOBODY! Because the general public only remembers the Bad Boy Remix featuring Missy Elliott and the occasional gruff "uh" from P. Diddy/Puff Daddy/Diddy/Sean Whatever. Let's break down a few songs that have gotten better with the remix treatment:

Shakira - She Wolf (Moto Blanco Radio Mix)

Any of the remixes is better than that tinny hollow sounding "She Wolf" song Shakira decided to release. That song sounds so underproduced and so crappy, I could make a better song on Garageband (And I have!). Seriously, come on. I'm not buying a record of crappy MIDI sounding shit. However, the Moto Blanco Radio Mix takes this piece of shit and turns it into a 90's dancefloor gem...strings, handclaps, and disco piano chords thrown in as well. Love it.

Natalie Imbruglia - Want (Cassette Club Remix)

I haven't heard from this bitch in years, so imagine my surprise to hear her new single "Want" and being blown away from it. It's already kind of a club song, with strings, disco beats, and a fat bassline. This remix just took that song (written by Coldplay!) and made it more atmospheric in the late night chill out sense. It's pretty good. That and the Blunt Laser Remix.

Death From Above 1979 - Black History Month (Girl On Girl Revision ft. Owen Pallett)

This song just rules. It ruled before the remix, and it rules after the remix. I love anything Owen Pallett puts his cute gay fingers on. Love him.


Also for some reason, this picture of Ken from Street Fighter fame showed up in Google image search for "remix". Hadouken!

From Pillar to Post

All the way back in April we were talking about Portland electro-pop artist Logan Lynn's upcoming album 'From Pillar to Post'. After months of anticipation, the digital pre-release is FINALLY available on Lynn's website!

The album starts with the fantastic single 'Feed Me To The Wolves' and weaves and winds it's way through various lamentations, s&m fantasies, dreamy love songs, and short, experimental/sound art tracks-- all the while maintaining Lynn's indie-pop sensibility.

Eventhough the album does have a certain accessibility with it's soft electronic soundscapes and Lynn's honest lyrics, it feels like if you listen long enough some deep, dark secret will be revealed. It's layered and complex and just in time to make it on a wonderfully melancholy autumn playlist or mixtape.

You can get the record this Labor Day weekend on LoganLynnMusic.com. While you're there, pick up a free download of the Boy In Static remix of 'Alone Together' from Logan's upcoming remix E.P. series. Also, don't forget to look for the physical album in stores this fall on The Dandy Warhols' Beat The World Records.

You've Changed

A little while back DJ Lauren Flax released a great chilled out house track called "You've Changed" that featured Sia on vocals and put Flax on the map as a musicmaker. The song has been floating around on the 'net since late last year but new remixes are just starting to roll in. Junior Sanchez (and Dre Skull, Larry Tee, and others) remixed the song for the vinyl single that came out in March on IHEARTCOMIX, and now Richie Panic has teamed up with UFO! to put their spin on it.

URB magazine (where Lauren is part of the URB Next 100) posted the exclusive mp3 download today, but you can listen to it right here!

Lauren Flax f. Sia - You've Changed (Richie Panic & UFO! Remix)

Silly Pepper

Berlin based artist Noisy Pig has released a video for his song 'Silly Pepper'. The video features Katie Conxita and Yujiro Akihiro and was conceptualized, filmed, and edited by ReveRso. The song is from his record "Disaster #1" on Cochon Records.

Check it!

(and if you're unfamiliar with NP check out the post we did on him a while back!)

BOY

Cody Critcheloe, of SSION and vice magazine fame, has written and directed a SSION movie that will be debuting tomorrow in Kansas City. The film is called BOY and as Kansas City's The Pitch blog describes : "The film weaves concert footage, music videos, a regular cast of Ssion characters and hundreds of extras into an integrated and typically eclectic glam-punk celebration of the fringe arts."

The after party will be a queer art star affair with Jeppe djing and guests like Casey Spooner (of Fischerspooner) in attendance.

If you're in KC, check out BOY at Tivoli Cinemas (4050 Pennsylvania Ave) at 7:30 pm tomorrow.

AND...If you wanna make yourself into a SSION face...here's how:

Beg for forgiveness

What is gayer than Grizzly Bear?


How about Grizzly Bear + Michael McDonald of Doobie Brothers/Steely Dan fame?

Grizzly Bear - While You Wait For The Others (ft. Michael McDonald)

Everyone's favorite indie band du jour with a gay singer who has a huge nose (which the Jew in me loves) has released the second single from "Veckatimest" with the b-side featuring Michael McDonald on lead vocals singing the band's song. He has been having a resurgence of lately as he's also featured on a Holy Ghost! track coming out this year as well. Go Michael!